


Your Reality

by darlingdisastrous



Category: Diabolik Lovers, Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Dark, Doki Doki Literature Club! Spoilers, Dubious Consent, F/M, Human/Vampire Relationship, Inspired by Doki Doki Literature Club!, Masochism, Memory Loss, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Out of Character, Possible smut, Sadism, Self-Harm, Suicide, Time Loop, Vampire Sex, Yuuma likes Manga, Yuuma likes to swear, vampire logic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:35:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25992232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingdisastrous/pseuds/darlingdisastrous
Summary: This fanfiction is not suited for children or those who are easily disturbed
Relationships: Mukami Azusa/Reader, Mukami Kou/Reader, Mukami Ruki/Reader, Mukami Yuuma/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the Literature Club!

It was a cool day. The leaves were only just starting to turn color. You loved it when they did that — especially the deep reds and honeyed golds. Unfortunately, it was still the beginning of autumn, so it was unlikely you would see any of those yet.

You shrugged on your uniform blazer, then grabbed your backpack by the straps while walking out the door, a half-hearted goodbye to your parents on your lips. It was still relatively early in the morning, and there weren’t too many students who lived in your neighborhood. You shouldn’t be disturbed.

You had barely made it to the cross walk when you heard it.

“Hey!”

_Huh...?_

Pausing mid-step, you looked back. There was no one else on the street, so it was fairly obvious who the noise originated from. Kou. He waved his arms wildly, a goofy smile spread out on his lips. You turned around, checking to see if there was someone else behind you, but there was no one. Only the two of you.

To say that you were surprised was an understatement.

You stood there, mouth agape, unsure if you should speak or not. He could have been shouting to someone else entirely. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to move.

It was just like old times… 

Kou used to be a good friend of yours once upon a time, but it had been years since you had actually hung out with him. Maybe the two of you were still friends—you didn’t know the protocol for this type of thing. You thought after he ghosted you years ago, your friendship had been eradicated; but, judging by the way he was running at you, you’d say that wasn’t true.

The two of you were next door neighbors. You grew up together, playing and doing all the things kids did at young ages. It was a friendship you wouldn’t’ve made later in life. If you hadn’t played together all those years ago, you’re almost positive that Kou wouldn’t even know your name.

Not like he noticed you nowadays… 

You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling very stupid. Another glance around confirmed that you were the only person on the street. How strange. He hadn’t spoken to you in forever, and yet today…?

You should’ve kept walking, whatever this was, it couldn’t have been important; but, you stayed. It was Kou, and even if he was childish at times, he might’ve really needed something.

Kou’s frantic sprints slowed into a jog, and then he came to an abrupt halt at your side. He dramatically swung his arms about like a windmill to help regain his balance and clasped your shoulder. 

“I can’t … believe … I caught you!” he panted.

 _Yeah_ , you thought, _Only ‘cause I waited on you …_ You decided to stay silent, still questioning his motives. 

Kou took a moment to himself, hunched over with one hand on his knee and the other on you for support, then stood up straight. He pushed his hair back and smiled brightly at you. “Do you happen to have any water on you?”

“Uh …” You reach into your backpack’s back pocket and pull out an old water bottle. “Here.”

Kou took it and chugged, then crushed the plastic in his palm. “Thanks. You’re an absolute lifesaver.”

The two of you waited for the light, and you scratched your leg awkwardly with your foot. “You’re an Idol, now, aren’t you?” A rhetorical question. Everyone knew Kou, his face was plastered everywhere. It was on a billboard not too far from where they stood. “Why would running take so much out of you?”

“Ahh!” Kou threw his hands up. “I just woke up. Cut me some slack.”

Being so close to Kou was weird. You hadn’t seen much of him ever since he started his Idol career. It wasn’t like he ditched you for fame, but he had very little free time. Rarely (read: never) did he make it to school on time. The two of you didn’t have any classes together this year, either, so he had almost completely vanished from your life.

“So.” Kou seemed to bounce with each step he took and bounded ahead of you, turning to walk backwards so his attention was solely on you. “What sort of school things are you into?”

“School … things?” you repeated slowly. 

“Yeah.”

You shook your head. Kou had this issue where he'd start talking about something and think everyone knew what he meant.

Kou rolled his eyes. “C’mon, you know what I mean. Clubs. Activities. Things like that.”

“I don’t really … do that.” Your lip curled. All the clubs your school had were, to put it bluntly, dull. None of them appealed to you. Besides, why would you want to get rid of all of your free time by joining a club?

“Why not?” 

“Not interested.”

Kou groaned and turned back around to walk properly. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You’re one to talk.” He peered at you curiously, waiting for you to continue. “ _You_ aren’t in any of the school’s activities, either. You really don’t have time.”

You expected him to be offended. You almost wanted him to be. Hoping that he understood the subtle jab, your soft gaze turned hard. 

Instead, Kou tossed his head back and let out a taunting, but hearty laugh. “Actually,” he sang. “That’s why I brought this up. There’s this club I’m in and … Well, I wanted to convince you to join in!”

The curl in your lip deepened into a grimace. “You’re in a club?”

“Yeah!” He slung his arm around your shoulders. “I’m VP! Helped form it and everything.”

You shake your head in disbelief, “How do you have time to juggle that with work?”

“Eheh.” He rubbed his neck. “It was recommended to me by my manager that I do something like this. Helps with my image and all that.” He waved his hand flippantly. “But that’s beside the point. I am doing my part as VP and trying to wrangle in some more members. So…”

Ouch. You knew you shouldn’t be hurt by that, but you were.

Really, it was silly to be upset. Kou was only doing his job as this club’s vice president at this moment in time. All the same, you frowned. Kou wasn’t coming up to you because he missed you. He was only trying to gather members for his stupid club.

You were just another face in the crowd to him. A person to grab at. A filler. Maybe he really has changed.

You tried to comfort yourself in the fact that you didn’t need him. Not anymore. He was just some dumb boy, after all. And so, you said, “I don’t know.”

His eyes grew large. He wasn’t used to hearing people telling him no. “What? Why?”

“You haven’t even told me what this club is.” You made a point to turn away from him. “I don’t want to join something I have zero interest in.”

“Oh … It’s a literature club.” Kou waved his hand flippantly, dismissing your attitude. He reached out and tugged the ends of your hair, drawing you back to him. “You like books, yeah?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Then you’ll love it! You’ll fit right in!”

You two were closing in on the school. The streets became speckled with students, their voices low hums in your ears, their eyes darting about to see if their friends have arrived.

You shrunk back, being with Kou meant constant attention, and you didn’t really like the spotlight. Despite your strain against him, Kou continued to drag you along beside him, his grip tightening. You almost say something, but decide against it.

His loud voice draws their attention almost as soon as the two of you step foot on campus. “Just come after school today and get a feel for everything!”

“Wait, Kou—!”

But he wouldn’t let you get a single word in. Kou spun out of his arms and he strutted off in the crowd of students, leaving you alone on the sidewalk. You stared after him, your mouth agape, but he was too far away, now. You’d only look like another crazy fan girl. 

You stomped your foot agrily and trudged onwards. One thing was very certain: you didn’t care what happened later today—you didn’t care if you had to cut class or physically fight him—you were not going to some _literature club_.

***

The final bell rang and you packed your notebook away in your bag. Drained, emotionally, mentally and physically (Stupid P.E. teacher taking advantage of the weather and making you run outside. You even forgot your gym clothes!)there was nothing you wanted more than to go home. The walk seemed tedious enough, and you already felt out of breath picturing it, but it was your only option.

A nice nap sounded good when you get home. Maybe a movie … a bath … or some anime … 

The door of the classroom opens with a bang. You scream, your bag slipping from between your fingers. All your belongings scatter onto the dirty linoleum floor. If you had the energy, you might’ve cried. Your nerves were so raw at this point, it wouldn’t take much more. 

“There you are!” Kou bounds forward with a dumb smile on his face.

 _Of course. Him._ You grind your teeth together.

Before he could reach you, you raised your hand to stop him. He skidded to a halt and pouted, reminding you too much of a puppy in that moment.

“Listen, Kou.” You crouched on the floor and gathered your school supplies. “Thank you for thinking of me. Really. But, I’m not interested in joining a club. I’m sure that you can convince a lot of people to join, being who you are and all. Just not me. Sorry.”

You couldn't meet his eyes, only having the courage to stare at his shoes. It wasn’t like you were scared of him; you were scared of yourself.

Kou had this ability as a kid of making you spill your secrets to him. It was just his face. His annoying puppy-dog eyes and pouty lips that make him look far too trusting. If you look up at him, you’re afraid that you’ll snap.

You strained to reach under the nearby desk and grab your pen, but surprisingly Kou did it for you. He knelt down beside you and grabbed a sheet of your homework behind him.

“I understand,” he said, sadly. “It’s just … Well, this club is a new one, you know? We only have four members so far. It’s been really hard to get new members, even with me there.” Kou said it like a joke, but you weren’t laughing. He took the hint and dropped his smile. “I … um … also sort of promised them that …” He trailed off, looking away.

Your a knot formed in your stomach. Kou’s voice went quiet towards the end. You could only hope that he didn’t say what you thought he did.

You clenched your jaw, your voice strained, “You told them what?” Heat flooded his cheeks, and he still didn’t look. “ _Kou_.” You stood slowly. “What did you tell these people?”

He peered up at you through his eyelashes. “That I was bringing you … Today.”

Your eyes grew the size of saucers and Kou quickly sprang to his feet. “You _what_?!”

He flinched, his voice turning into a whine. “I thought you’d say yes!”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep!” You grabbed fistfuls of your hair and paced. “I mean … Kou!” You screamed in frustration. You wanted to hit something. Maybe him.

You could feel your lovely evening slipping through your fingers. This was all because of Kou’s selfishness.

This was so like him. Even before he became an Idol, he was so self-centered. You couldn’t count the amount of times you had been dragged to events that you didn’t want any part of. Things that he’d promised people he’d go to. This day was just one big bout of deja vu. 

Kou rocked back and forth on his heels, “They made cupcakes…”

“Now I feel bad!” You rubbed your face. “Kou, what if I had already had plans? You can’t just do things like this.”

His eyes lit up, “So, you don’t have plans?”

You jammed your finger in his chest. “That’s not the point.” 

You were at an impasse. Say no and feel like the biggest jerk, not only to Kou, but to this club who’d gone out of their way to make cupcakes for you. Say yes and be a massive pushover, potentially have the worst time ever, and get involved in something you weren’t interested in in the first place!

And then, you had a thought. No one said you had to commit to the club. Surely, they would understand that. 

You exhaled softly and nodded, “I’ll visit.”

Kou’s eyes lit up brightly. He snatched your arm and pulled you along behind him, muttering thank you over and over again. You weren’t certain he heard you when you said that this didn’t mean you would join.

***

And thus, today marked the day you sold your soul for a cupcake. You trudged behind Kou as he led you up the stairs to the club. This floor was unfamiliar to you, as it was mainly used for third year classes and activities.

Kou confidently led you to a room and entered without knocking. “Guys! I told you I’d follow through!”

You wanted to chastise him, because technically speaking he didn’t follow through. You only came because of guilt. And, maybe, because you wanted a cupcake. 

The words died in your throat as you looked around the room. You didn’t know what you had expected, but it wasn’t this.

You stood in a standard classroom, no different than the others in the school. It was practically empty save for three boys.You stiffened. Kou hadn’t told you all the members were all _male_.

This had to be a trick—something your parents had set up to get you out of the house—because there was no way that this naturally happened to you. Screw the cupcake. 

The first boy you noticed had long, dark hair and sad eyes. His uniform shirt was left unbuttoned at the top, and you couldn’t help but stare at what looked like bandages that peeked out from underneath.

“Welcome … to … literature club,” he said slowly and softly. “It’s … a pleasure … meeting you.” His blue-grey eyes scanned between you and Kou. “Kou … says … nice things about … you.”

Before you were given the opportunity to reply, a loud voice cut you off. “Huh?” The tallest stood, bewilderment written all over his face. “You brought a girl, Kou? What the hell?”

You frowned, “Hey, now—”

Once again, you were cut off.

“Ah, (y/n).” Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as the most popular boy in school saddled up in front of you, smiling like you were old chums. “What a nice surprise.”

Your eyes went wide. It was Ruki.

He put his book on the crass boy’s desk and extended his hand to you. “Welcome to our club.”

Hesitantly, you took it. The contact didn’t last for more than a few seconds, but it made your skin burn. He gave you a firm shake, his fingers icy. His hand curled nicely around your own, then released. Ruki leaned back casually on the crass boy’s desk, his mysterious eyes flitting between you and Kou. 

Your initial reluctance was replaced by your anxiety. This club … _was full of incredibly cute boys_! Well, some of them could learn some manners; even so, it was too much to handle. How were you supposed to interact with them?

And Kou claimed he had trouble getting people to join...? All he had to do was advertise his members! Maybe create a calendar and sell it at the next fundraiser; they’d have trouble keeping students away.

“What are you looking at?” The crass boy grumbled. “If you wanna say sumthin’, say it.”

You blinked rapidly. _Oh, shit_. You had been staring. “Sorry.”

“Yuma…” The quiet boy chastised. 

The crass one—Yuma—was someone you weren’t too familiar with. He must’ve been a third year student like Kou and Ruki. While you were somewhat knowledgeable of third year students, you didn’t make it a habit of hanging around them.

You glanced at Kou.

Kou leaned in and whispered, “You can just ignore him when he gets grumpy like that.” He then twirled around and grabbed your shoulders, pushing you closer to the group. “Anyways, Yuma—always full of energy. And this is Azusa. He’s friendly, don’t let his shyness fool you.”

You smile. “It’s nice to meet both of you.”

Yuma grunted, clearly not over whatever was bothering him; and Azusa smiled, although it looked painful and strained. 

“You seem to already know Ruki, yeah?”

Ruki nodded for the both of you, focusing on Kou. “Yes. We had an elective together last year.” He turned to you again. “It’s great to see you again.”

His gaze was intense. Something about his eyes … you couldn’t exactly place it, but they’d always been magnetic. And pretty.

To be honest, you were shocked that Ruki remembered you at all. The elective was only a semester long and mixed with first through third years. You stuck to yourself mainly, and Ruki hung around a group of cool second-and-third year boys. He always read. 

Ruki was one of the most liked boys in school because of his innate ability to command a room. That being said, he was rather aloof, even among friends. He wasn’t necessarily cruel, just hard to approach, which made everything about this moment even more strange. You were positive the two of you hadn’t said more than two words to one another, and yet he remembered you.

He was entirely out of your league … Not that you cared about _dating_ or anything like that. But having Ruki smile at you like this made your stomach flutter. 

“Yeah, you too.” You managed a small smile at him before looking at your feet.

Kou slid out from behind you and sat down at a desk. “C’mon, sit down. There’s a seat for you beside me and Ruki. I’ll go get the cupcakes—”

Before Kou could finish speaking, Yuma jumped up. “Sit your ass down. I made the damn cupcakes, so I’ll get ‘em.”

Kou raised his hands in surrender and sank down in his chair. “Sorry.” 

When Yuma was far enough away, Kou shot you a secret smile. He wasn’t sorry. You rolled your eyes. Yuma, too preoccupied with something in the back of the room to notice the exchange.

Azusa was next to stand. “I can … make tea … if you would like?”

Ruki nodded and Azusa headed back to where Yuma was, presumably to get the tea. Kou enthusiastically patted the empty seat beside him, and you sighed, complying with his whims, and sat. 

Yuma smugly marches back over to the desks, tray in hand. “Here we are.”

He rips the tinfoil off of the tray and reveals a dozen cupcakes with fluffy icing. Each one is decorated the same, to look like a pig. There is a pink marshmallow stuck in the centre of it with chocolate lines drawn on for the snout, and cute little chocolate eyes. It was … adorable. 

“Ahh!” Kou dives in, grabbing one as fast as possible.

“Hey!” Yuma smacked him on the back of the head. “Careful with those, it took a long—” He broke off, his eyes darting towards you. “Uh … Never mind. Just eat ‘em.”

Ruki also grabbed one, and you got one as well. You admired the cupcake from every side, smiling softly to yourself. Yuma might be crass, but he had an adorable hobby.

“These are so cute,” you comment.

“Eh?” Yuma sits up straighter. “The hell is that supposed to mean?! I don’t do ‘cute’!”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Your words rushed together fast as you tried to fix your apparent error. Your cheeks flushed—there was no way he could miss it. “I mean, they look amazing. I guess I should’ve chosen my words better.”

Yuma crossed his arms over his chest and turned away, scowling. “Shut up and eat it.”

You peeled the wrapper and opened your mouth. You turned it over in your hands, looking for the best place to bite. From the corner of your eyes, you noticed Yuma had turned back around and was watching you with caution. Was he waiting for you to take a bite?

You decided to just go for it, and bit in, taking a chunk out of the pig’s rear. As soon as the cake hit your tongue, your eyes lit up.

“This tastes wonderful!” You lick some icing off of your fingers. “Thank you, Yuma.”

His cheeks tinged red. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, stupid. Eat your cupcake.”

 _Gladly_. You continued to eat in silence with the Literature Club. It wasn’t awkward. They seem to be comfortable around one another, even though the club was newly formed.

Azusa came from the back of the classroom, carrying a tea set. He laid a cup out for everyone, then poured the tea.

It’s when he stopped by you, you spoke up. “You keep an entire tea set in this class room?”

He smiles faintly. “The teachers … trust me.” Azusa lays the teapot down next to the cupcake tray and pulls one out for himself. “Ruki … claims that … tea goes best … with … reading. So, we keep one … for that reason. I … think … it helps … emurse me … in the story.”

You laugh nervously, “I guess.”

Ruki stretched his legs out beneath his desk and opened his book again. “Don’t allow yourself to be intimidated, (y/n). Azusa is only trying to impress you.”

Azusa’s lips parted. “Ah…? Well … maybe … But, Ruki—”

Ruki didn’t look up again, too absorbed in his own book. You bite your lip and grab a hold of the tea cup. 

“This tea smells delicious, Azusa,” you said. You sipped it gently and sat the cup back down. “I might not be an avid reader, but I do enjoy a good cup of tea. You’re really good at it.”

“Oh … Thank you.” Azusa faintly smiles to himself in relief. 

“(y/n).” Your attention was again pulled in by Ruki. Though he had not put down his book, it seemed he wanted to talk. “What made you consider the Literature Club?”

 _Oh, shit_. You hid your cringe behind your tea cup. There was no way you could tell him the real reason. But, the room had gone quiet. All eyes were on you, making you feel all sweaty. Were they all interested in your answer…?

Something told you that Ruki wouldn’t be the type of person who took kindly to people who were wishy-washy. Maybe he would think you were taking advantage of his hospitality… 

You had to choose your words carefully or else they'd throw you out for sure. The boys stared at you expectantly. Kou’s face betraying his worry—did he think you’d rat him out? 

“I don’t belong to a club,” you said, “Kou brought up the topic on the way to school this morning. He told me about yours, so…”

The corner of Ruki’s lips turned upwards into an almost-smile. “Don’t worry. This isn’t one of those stuffy clubs, if that’s what you’re worried about. If you do feel uncomfortable, at any point, let me know. It’s my job as the club’s president to make everyone feel welcome.”

Seeing him smile, even if it was a half-smile, made your heart flutter. You tried to squash the feeling. You didn’t want to make him feel like he had to keep talking to you; but, Ruki seemed to be entertained with you at the moment.

“Ruki, I’m surprised.” He tilted his head curiously and let you finish. “How come you decided to start your own club? You could probably be a board member for any of the major clubs this school already has … Come to think of it, weren’t you the leader of the Foreign Language Club last year?”

He shrugged. “I can’t stand all the politics that surround the major clubs. It’s nothing but arguments over budgets and the publicity of the club. No one is passionate about what they do. I would rather create something I enjoy and share it with those with the same passions.” 

Kou, who had been sitting next to you the whole time and listening in on your conversation, leaned in close to join in. “Ruki really is a great leader.”

You frowned at Kou's sudden interruption. “You have frosting all over your face.”

The Idol cried out and quickly scrubbed his face with a nearby napkin.

“You know, I really am surprised that this club doesn’t have more members,” you commented off hand. “I mean, with Ruki as president and Kou being who he is, and these wonderful treats …”

“I don’t see how my being president would bring anyone in,” Ruki said, “But Kou certainly draws a crowd. It’s just that the girls he draws in don’t want to commit. They only come for him. The ones who have stayed only cause a ruckus, so we’ve had to turn them away. A shame.”

The pit of dread returns to your stomach. You swallow hard and slouch in your seat. So, if you really didn’t stay, they would all just write you off as another one of Kou’s crazy fan girls? No, that isn’t fair to you. But, you didn’t want them to think poorly of you.

“That just makes the school’s Festival even more important.” Ruki’s normally quiet voice raises just a bit to grab the attention of the others. “With everyone’s help, we can make the Literature Club stand out and grab the attention of students who may be on the fence about joining.”

“Yeah!” Kou exclaimed.

Azusa nodded. “We will … do our … best.”

“Sure thing,” Yuma grumbled.

It amazed you that they were all working towards the same goal, and yet they were so … different. Ruki must have worked hard to find the three of them. Even though they didn’t look like it, they must have some interest in reading. No wonder they were all excited about having a new member join, even if you were a girl.

“Hey …” Your attention was called over to Azusa. “What kind of … books … do you … like … to read?”

You hesitated. That was a difficult question to answer. Your reading tastes covered a broad spectrum of genres, from classics to … well, what you were into now. As of late, you hadn’t been reading what was considered ‘socially acceptable’ to any normal people. Especially boys. You looked down, your neck feeling rather hot.

 _Geeze_ , you thought, _I wouldn’t have had this issue in the anime club_.

“Um … _manga_?” 

Azusa’s smile faltered. “Ah … Not much … of a reader?”

Behind Azusa, you watch as Yuma’s head lifts from the table, as he had been pretending to sleep. Maybe he planned to berate you, too. 

“But!” you shout, faster than your mind can stop you, “I-It’s just what I’m into right now. I like … other stuff too.” None of which was coming to mind, try as you might.

“ … Oh?”

“Yeah,” you said lamely.

What are you doing?! You want to physically make yourself stop speaking, but that would look weird. What you didn’t want (really, really didn’t want) was for the rest of them to think of you as another one of Kou’s crazy fan girls. Even if you weren’t decided on this club, it wouldn’t hurt to make aquanintences out of them.

“Anyway, what about you, Azusa?”

He smiled. “Well … let’s see.” Azusa rubs his arms, deep in thought for several moments. “I like … horror.”

You didn’t expect that. “O-Oh?”

“Ones … that make you … think. Ones … that are … complex and suspenseful … They draw you … in with a … false … sense of security, and … when you … least expect it.” He smacks his hands together, and you jump. “I love … to be filled … with anxiety … and paranoia … over a book.”

Azusa had seemed rather timid when you came into the club, but now you were seeing a whole new side to him. There was a look of passion in his eyes. Though his taste in books might have frightened you, especially how he described it, you couldn’t dock him for his passion. You admired it.

“I read a horror book, once,” you say. You didn’t tell him that you had cried because of the sappy ending. 

“I hate horror,” said Yuma. He had fully sat up now, and plopped his feet up on the desk, tipping the chair back.

“Why’s … that?”

“Well, I just—” Yuma cuts himself off. His eyes dart over to you for a split second before focusing solely on Azusa. “Just don’t like ‘em. That’s all.”

Ruki’s shadow saddled up behind you. “That’s right, Yuma. You usually enjoy more mild things. Like your garden.”

Yuma’s face seemed to go through all the stages of grief in a single second, “The—The hell you just say, Ruki?!”

Ruki leans on the same desk as you, his uniform brushing against yours. “You left a piece of paper here last meeting. It had your writing on it and I was intrigued. It was a good poem, I’ll admit.”

“Shut the fuck up, dude!” By now, his face was almost entirely red. He gripped the edges of the desk hard, like he could rip it off with his bare hands.

Kou cackled from his seat. “Yuma, you make cupcakes and write poems about flowers? That’s adorable!”

“Shut up!” He seemed to be unable to say anything else. Yuma continued to sputter, grasping at anything he could use against them, but ultimately coming up empty handed. “Just … Just shut up!”

“Yuma, you write your own poems?” you asked softly.

He opened his mouth to snap at you, probably worse than he had all the others, but he stopped. He analyzed you, and settled back down into his seat, his arms crossed. “It’s nothing.”

“I think that’s impressive.” You purse your lips, feeling the stares of everyone else on your back, “I mean, I could never write a poem. That’s not my thing, but I respect anyone who can.”

Though your words seemed to have the positive effect you desired, Yuma clenched his teeth and looked away. “That’s—I don’t need your respect.”

“Okay.” You purse your lips and added, “But I’d love to hear one sometime.”

“No!” Yuma’s eyes dart to you, only for a second, before he looks away again. “You wouldn’t like them. They’d go over your head. Besides, they aren’t for you.”

“I … understand … Yuma.” Azusa said. “Sharing your … writing … especially with … people you know … is difficult. It’s … like sharing … your soul.”

“Do you have writing experience, Azusa?” Ruki asked. Before the boy could reply, he continued. “Maybe if you share what you’ve written, Yuma would feel more confident with what he’s written.”

Yuma scoffed. “That’s a shit idea.”

Even Azusa seems to recoil, but you can’t tell if it’s from Yuma’s animosity or the idea of sharing his work.

“Ah!” Kou threw his hands in the air, frustrated. “I wanted to hear the poems!”

We all sat in silence for a moment. Suddenly, Ruki moved in front of the desks, commanding everyone’s attention. “I have an idea. We will all write something. It can be poem or prose, so long as it is your original work. We can share it at tomorrow’s meeting.”

Yuma made a painful noise. Azusa stared blankly. Neither of them tried to dissuade their president, surprisingly. 

“Yeah! Let’s do it!” Kou shouts. “It’ll be fun seeing what goes on in everyone’s head.”

Ruki turns to you, his gaze softening. “This can be a … a bonding exercise to help us get to know our new member, (y/n).” 

You still, your lips parting. “Hold on. There’s just one probelm.” Why can’t you keep your mouth shut? But it’s too late now, your words are tumbling out, faster and faster and you can’t make yourself stop. “I … I never agreed to join this club.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walking home with Kou ...

_Tick … Tock … Tick … Tock …_

The classroom went quiet. The clock in the very back of the room ticked away, counting the awkward seconds as they went by.

_Tick … Tock … Tick … Tock …_

No one spoke up. They didn’t smile, or ask you if this was some kind of funny joke. They didn’t yell, either, which you might have honestly preferred. The boys just … stared.

_Tick … Tock … Tick … Tock …_

A range of emotions flashed on each of their faces. Shock. Hurt. Anger. A part of you wished they were talking, but you seemed to have robbed them of their voices.

_Tick … Tock … Tick … Tock …_

If you could go back in time and slap yourself, you would’ve. Why hadn’t you just shut up and gone along with it? Well, you knew why. You weren’t some push over. You had a mind of your own. Kou never seemed to realize that, before.

_Tick … Tock … Tick … Tock ..._

You were certain a solid minute had gone by and no one spoke. You grit your teeth; for such jabber boxes, they picked the worst moment to be quiet. It would have to be you who spoke up.

“I told Kou that I’d come and visit but I never said anything about joining officially.” You rubbed your arm awkwardly, unable to meet their eyes. “This seems like a great club. Really. You made me feel welcome and … and comfortable even though I don’t know most of you.

“It’s not stuffy, like some of the other clubs I’ve observed. It’s a great change of pace. I know someone out there will really enjoy it and be a great fit. And, you all seem like great boys, but I don’t know if I’m ready for this level of … commitment …”

 _Why does this feel like I’m breaking up with all four of them?_ You thought bitterly.

You slowly trail off, your words getting weaker the longer you look at them. You know you shouldn’t feel guilty for this. It’s your life and your decision. But the longer they stare back at you with those hurt eyes, you can’t help but feel like the world’s worst person.

Kou pouts, his words failing him. “B-But!” 

“I’m … sorry, I … thought …” Azusa rubs his arms and turns away.

Yuma frowns, turning away to the window. “Hmph.”

“(y/n) …” Ruki says quietly.

You turn away. This wasn’t right—they shouldn’t be making you feel bad about your decision, you had only met most of them today. But, that didn’t change the fact that you felt like you were making the worst mistake of your life. Mentally, you swore. 

You look between the dejected boys again, shifting from side to side. Was it worth it?

“I could give it a shot,” you said lamely. As soon as the words left your mouth the atmosphere did a complete one-eighty. “But I’m really bad with poetry, trust me on this—“

Before you could finish your sentence, Kou tackled you. He wrapped his arms around your neck tightly, thanking you a million times over. It was similar to how he reacted when you agreed to come with him.

You shove on his chest, but find that it’s only half-hearted. “Stop it!” you laugh. 

“You … scared me,” Azusa commented. “And … not in … a good way.”

Yuma flicks your forehead, but there is little to no malice in his eyes. “If you really just came for the cupcakes I would be pissed.”

Well, you chewed on your cheek, I thought about it.

Ruki stepped forward and clasped your shoulder. “That makes it official. Welcome to the Literature Club.”

***

As you packed up your belongings, your zipper snagged a metal stud on your chair. You swore, yanking on it repeatedly. It didn’t seem to want to budge at all.

“Let me help.”

Pale, slender hands laid on your shoulders and you gasped; however, the contact only lasted for a second and then it was gone.

Ruki.

He bent over you, his body overshadowing yours as he took matters into his own hands. Nimbly, he untucked the stuck zipper from a bolt on the chair, then straightened.

“We wouldn’t want you to rip your backpack,” Ruki teased. “It would be irresponsible of me to allow that to happen on my watch as club president.”

“Thank you.” You shouldered the bag. A quick glance around the room told you all you needed to know. You and Ruki were alone in the club room. The boys really didn’t waste time clearing out. “Why are you still here?”

Ruki raised his eyebrows.

“I mean—!” You blushed furiously, dropping your gaze to your feet. “I mean … everyone else is gone. I thought you would be, too.”

Ruki tipped his head back, understandingly. The small smirk told you he’d known all along. “I don’t leave until everyone in the club does. I’m responsible for putting things back in an orderly fashion.”

“Shouldn’t Kou help you with that?”

“Perhaps … But he isn’t here, is he?” There was the smallest hint of amusement in his voice, but annoyance in his eyes. “Nevermind all that. Have a good night, (y/n).”

“It doesn’t seem fair, though.” What were you doing?! Before you could stop yourself, you laid your bag against the wall. “What do you need help with?”

Ruki blinked, clearly taken aback at your sudden offer. Had no one ever done that before? That seemed unfair.

“Well …” He began slowly, looking around the room. “You can help me move the desks back.”

The two of you worked in near silence. The desks scraped the floor as you pushed them back into their original order. Chairs went next, being neatly stacked in the back of the room. Ruki only made a comment every now and then about where to put something or what you could do if you looked lost.

It hadn’t been more than ten minutes when the room was back in order.

“Thank you, (y/n). You didn’t have to stay but you did.” Ruki pushed some of his hair out of his face and smiled down at you. “That speaks well to your character.”

You turned away from him, busying yourself with your belongings. “It’s nothing. You shouldn’t have to do all that on your own.”

You turned to leave only to smack into his chest a moment later. Ruki stood there, unaffected by your closeness, and unaware he was blocking the door. Or, maybe he was aware and just didn’t care.

You staggered back, putting a healthy amount of distance in between the two of you. You clutched your chest, your eyes as wide as saucers. When had he gotten so close? If he noticed your surprise, it didn’t show on his face. In his hand was a folded piece of notepaper. He held it out for you to take.

“For club purposes. I’m sure you’ll have everyone soon enough.” Ruki gently pushed it into your hands.

You accepted the paper and unfolded it. It was … a bunch of numbers? Oh. Hang on a moment. It finally clicked what he’d given you. His phone number. You folded it back up quickly and stuck it in your pocket.

“Thanks.”

“Message me soon so I’ll have yours,” he said. It was said with such indifference, you could easily believe that he’d done this with dozens of girls. “Maybe you can help me start a club group chat. We’ll be able to keep Kou on time that way.”

You weren’t one of his girls. You were his clubmate, and that was fine.

“You know we’ll never keep Kou on time.” You shared a smile with the boy. “But that sounds fun anyway.”

Ruki walked you out of the room and down the stairs, talking pleasantries. Hard to believe about two hours ago you two hadn’t even had a full conversation.

When you get to the school doors, you are astonished to see Kou still outside. What you aren’t surprised to see are a group of girls around him. Their voices carry from where you and Ruki stand, but not the words.

If Ruki notices your discomfort, he didn’t comment.

Kou’s eyes seem to find the two of you through the group. He smiles and says something to them, then wades through.

“Hey!” He jogs to your side. “I was waiting on you. What were you guys doing up there?” Kou wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, but you just elbowed him.

“I was helping Ruki clean up.” You poke his chest. “Something you should be doing as VP.” Ruki huffed quietly, but you heard it. It was like a _good-luck-trying-to-convince-him-to-help_ , sigh, _but-thanks-anyway._

“Cool, cool.” By his tone of voice, Kou didn’t believe it one bit. He shot you a wink, his tongue poking out of his teeth in a wolfish smile. “Anyway, I wanted to walk home with you. Like old times. Figured since we’re in the same club we can do it more often.”

The idea of having a buddy to walk home with was appealing, especially at this time of night. The sun was setting and there was no tell of the kinds of creeps that would be out. “Sure. Thanks, Kou.”

Beside you, Ruki’s phone buzzes. His brow furrows and he looks up, finally. “Excuse me.” 

Kou nudges your arm and you take that as your cue to start walking. There’s no point in hanging around, you suppose. Ruki’s a big boy, he could make it to his home on his own.

“Bye,” you called out to him. Ruki doesn’t look at you, but waves.

Kou wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you along down the sidewalk. The two of you passed his fan group, who hadn’t dispursed apparently, and Kou flashed them a smile and blew a kiss. Finally, you both made it off of campus and you felt like you could breathe. Those girls were murderous. You didn’t know what Kou was thinking, dragging you along like that.

“That was probably his girlfriend,” Kou said suddenly.

“Girlfriend?” you echod.

He hummed. Kou unwound his arm from your shoulder and stretched, the bottom of his shirt lifting just enough to see his stomach. _Woah, abs. That’s new._

Kou’s yawn was obscenely loud and hammy, if you were honest. He didn't bother to reply until he finished. “Girls always hang around him, and I’ve seen him on dates, but Ruki’s always so secretive about his life. We all just assume he has one—or a harem—and he doesn’t tell us otherwise.”

“I guess.” You kicked a rock that was in your way. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Kou laughed. It isn’t his fake one, either. It’s a big, hearty, guffaw, that almost seems ingenuine. “You know me! I couldn’t if I wanted to.”

You scoff and wiggle out from under his arm. “That’s bull.”

“No it isn’t. My contract says I have to remain ‘available’.” Kou used his fingers as air quotes. Then, he shrugged, a little less enthused. “Fans aren’t as interested in you if you have a girlfriend, you know?” He stuffed his hands in his blazer pockets and chews on his inner cheek.

Even though you hadn’t really considered dating or anything like that; being told that you weren’t allowed to just because of your image seemed wrong. Yet, you didn’t say any of that to Kou. Maybe it was because you knew how much his Idol career meant to him and you didn’t want to diss it. Or, maybe, because you felt as though you didn’t know him as well as you used to. It was hard to open up to someone who felt like a complete stranger.

“That sounds lonely,” you said. “I’m sorry.”

Kou peeked at you from beneath his eyelashes. Suddenly, that almost-pout was gone, replaced by a coy grin. “Why? Do you wanna date me, kitty-cat?”

You skidded to a halt, fake-gagging at the nickname he gave you. “No! Geez, Kou …”

“Aw, c’mon!”

“Don’t be a jerk.”


	3. Chapter Three

Coming home that night was strange. You would have normally felt compelled to laze around until dinner; however, that night was different. Your parents could even sense it, as they gave you a strange _I-know-what’s-going-on-in-your-little-teenage-world_ look when you walked through the door.

You ignored it and headed straight to your bedroom. Absentmindedly, you flipped the TV on and sat down at your desk. A blank notebook stared back at you. Writing was not something that came naturally to you. It took hours of slaving over your essays in school to make them look good. Writing this poem—something nowhere near as grueling as an essay—should have been a piece of cake.

It wasn’t.

You huffed in annoyance and threw your pen against the desk. What was there to even write about? Your feelings? Who would want to read that?! Definitely, not those four boys in the Literature Club. It was insane that they even wanted to write something like this in the first place.

 _No_ , you corrected yourself. _Ruki wants us to write. Maybe Kou, too, but this was all Ruki’s idea._

You turned on your phone and found you had two new friend requests on social media—one from Azusa and another from some farm account. You accepted both, and then remembered that Ruki’s number was still in your pocket. You bit your inner cheek, and ultimately decided against messaging him. 

All the same, you removed the piece of paper and pinned it to your cork board. Just in case.

Right as you started to turn your phone off, ready to brave the pen and paper once more, a thought popped into your head. Maybe, you could use one of those online generators to make the stupid poem and then—

No, those guys weren’t that stupid. They could probably if you didn’t try at all. Besides, that wasn’t fair to the others, who were putting effort into their writing. Before you had left, Ruki had pulled you aside and said …

_“I look forward to seeing how you express yourself.” He smiled one of those rare, charming smiles at you._

_“I’ll try my best,” you said. The words slipped out before you could stop them. It sucked._

So, Ruki would be looking for your best—not that you needed to impress him, but you sort of wanted to. He was one of the most popular boys in school. Being sort-of-friends and club mates with him was a dream. You wanted his approval. For reasons.

And then there were the others: Yuma gave you a hard enough time already, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that he would be able to tell if you half-assed it. Then there was Azusa, who supposedly had been writing for a while and would smell the mediocrity from a mile away.

But you didn’t have to worry about Kou. Even if he was a singer/songwriter, he’d been a friend long before that. Even after all these years of not talking. You sincerely doubted that he would tease you.

That brought a wave of relief. Slyly, you spayed your laptop, which peeked out from underneath your backpack. You pulled it out and opened the browser, typing in ‘word generator’.

_Morale … Silver … Smell … Urgency … Scheme … Muggy … Sand … Sunflower … Ire … Misery … Awful … Slap … Coerce_

You scribbled down the words that spoke to you, the poem slowly forming itself in your mind. Soon you had more than enough and a satisfied smile spread across your lips.

 _There_. That was a start.

***

“Hi again, (y/n).” Ruki greeted you as you walked into the Literature Club’s classroom. “I’m glad to see you stuck to your decision this time.”

Your smile faltered. _This time?_ You decided not to think too much on it. Ruki’s lips quirked up into a smile. You grinned in reply and lay your bookbag down at the desk you had sat at the previous meeting.

You notice that you were the last to come in, this time. Kou sat near Ruki and gave you the Idol Wink—one you had seen many girls at your school swoon over. Azusa was reading and Yuma appeared to be digging through the closet in the back of the room.

Azusa looked up from his book upon hearing your name. “Thanks … for … keeping your … promise. I hope … this isn’t … too overwhelming a … commitment for you.”

“Ha!” Suddenly, Yuma was at your side. “As if she deserves any slack. Kou told me you didn’t even want to join any clubs this year! So what is it, huh? Why are you here?” He got extremely close to you, and you found yourself confronted with the fact that Yuma was ginormous. You hadn’t realized just how large he was until that very moment. “I dunno if you plan on coming here to goof off or if you’re one of Kou’s fangirls, but if you don’t take this club seriously, _you’re dead_. I don’t care if you’re a girl or not.”

You took several steps back, only to smack into a desk. Yuma didn’t relent. He came forward, leering at you with a dangerous glint in his eye. Whatever his problem was with you, you weren’t about to see the end of it.

Your mouth opened and closed, yet despite how you tried, you couldn’t make more than a few syllables. “I—I—”

A slender hand grabbed a hold of Yuma’s bicep and pulled him back just enough that you could breathe. You looked up, and there was Ruki, a self satisfied smirk on his face. “Yuma, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps their manga collection in the club room.” 

His jaw dropped—your jaw dropped. _Yuma_ and _manga_? How could it be that you had something in common with such an obnoxious man.

Yuma turned red, his head swiveling between Ruki and then you, like he couldn’t believe what he heard. “Y-You …” he stammered, unable to find the right insult to fling Ruki’s way. “ _Manga is literature_!” he shouts, finally, and storms off.

“Don’t worry.” Kou re-joined the group, having missed all the previous drama and focusing solely on Azusa’s original comment. “She’ll give it her all. Especially if she’s having fun with it. She’s good about things like that. She even helped me with busy work at the start of my Idol career.”

You knew what he meant. Cooking and cleaning. Back then, it was as if you had become his little housewife, or something. Totally degrading. You blushed and turned away, but Kou’s arm tightened around you. 

Kou continued to talk you up to the club, telling them about those times, only making you more and more embarrassed. If he kept going, they were soon going to believe you were one of his fangirls, but of the worst variety—a puppy.

“Your room is always a mess,” you murmured, “I don’t understand how you can live like that.”

Even though on most days, your room isn’t any better. You couldn’t help but give Kou a hard time because, well, he was Kou.

“You’re so … dependable …” Azusa commented.

You shook her head. “Kou almost set his house on fire, once, with the mess he created. It was the least I could do, believe me.”

He cried out in indignation. “It wasn’t that bad!”

“You two … are very good … friends … don't you?” Azusa asked. He rubbed his neck, scratching at his bandages. “I may be … a little … jealous.”

Pushing you away, Kou saddled up beside Azusa. “How come? You two can become great friends, too.”

Azusa shot you a panicked look, then turned away. “U-Um…”

“Kou,” you say through clenched teeth.

He makes a noncommittal noise, oblivious of the awkward situation he had just put you in. Then he bent down to Azusa’s side. “Why don’t you give her the thing you brought her today.” Kou nudged him with his elbow. “She’ll love it.”

Azusa’s normally half-lidded gaze gew wide and frantic. His cheeks tinged pink and he balled his hands into fists. “Kou—!”

You frown, “Oh?”

“Uh … it’s … it’s not really …” Azusa clutched his arms, slowly backing away. He was visibly shaking like a leaf, his gaze darting anywhere but you.

“Ah!” Kou burst into a fit of laughter. He patted the boy on the back, urging him forward. “Don’t be shy.”

But Azusa shook his head. It was going so fast, he looked like a bobble head. “It’s … nothing. Nevermind …” He stammered over his words, his whole face red, now. “Kou made it … sound like a … big deal. It’s … not.”

Azusa hung his head, wringing his hands around one another, and backed off into another corner of the room. Once he was out of sight, you elbowed Kou hard. The Idol doubled over, clutching his stomach.

“Ack!” He grasped the table in front of him, looking up at you incredulously. “What the hell was that for?”

“Do you have zero filter or are you just an idiot?” you hissed.

Kou shook his head, confusion written all over his face. “What?”

Idiot, you decided. You put a hand on his shoulder and helped him up. “You just embarrassed Azusa.”

He frowned. You watched as the gears turned ever so slowly in his mind, until finally it seemed to click. “Oh. … Oh.”

“Yeah.” 

You cue him in with your eyes to go back over and apologize. Kou nodded, his eyebrows knit together in remorse. He hobbled over, still in pain from your jab, and mutter out an apology. Azusa seemed to accept it, but you weren’t an expert on his facial expressions, as he was so monotonous. A few moments later, Kou walked away.

You were walking towards him before you even realized it. Azusa’s eyes lit up and he straightened his stance, standing taller than before. “Hey, don’t worry about it,” you said softly. “I know that Kou was just teasing. It’s in his nature … even if it is annoying. Are you okay?”

Azusa sighed. “He wasn’t … joking. I do … have something … for you. I would … prefer to be … the one to tell you … about it, though.”

“Oh.” You bit your lip.

He reached down and grabbed his backpack, laying it on a nearby desk. Slowly, he unzipped it and pulled out a small book with a dark blue cover. 

“I saw this book … and thought … of you. It’s a short read … and I thought … maybe … we could discuss it … as you read along.” Azusa passed the book over to you and you ran your hand across the front, then flipped through the pages.

“Thank you. This is so sweet.” And it was. He saw a book and thought of you. Maybe, he really did want to get to know you. “What’s it about?” 

He hummed. “Well … It’s a story about vampires … if I remember. A … love story. There is … adventure … and thrills along the way … but the main conflict is around a … powerful … jealous … vampire prince and his knights … fighting for a human peasant.”

“Sounds surprisingly romantic.” You inwardly cringe. It isn’t often you enjoy romance novels, but the adventure portion does intrigue you. “That sounds fun.”

You bend down and grab a sheet of paper from your backpack and scribble your number on it, then pass it over to Azusa. He stares at the piece of paper for a good ten seconds, his pale cheeks turning pink, before looking up at you.

“What … is this … for?”

“In case we want to discuss the book outside of the club.”

Azusa shyly put the paper in his back pocket and sat down at his desk. Now that everyone is settled in, you expected Ruki to kick off some activities for the club, but that didn’t seem to be the case. 

Kou and Ruki seem to be having a lively discussion in the corner. Azusa’s face is already buried in a book. You can’t help but notice how emmurced he seemed to have gotten in such a short period of time, as if he were waiting on this chance. Meanwhile, Yuma is rummaging around the closet again. 

You catch a glimpse of the cover of the book Azusa is reading and realize that it’s the exact same one he gave to you. Well, that isn’t totally out of the ordinary, especially if he wanted to discuss it with you. Though, he seemed to be on the first few pages of the book.

“Ah!” He softly exclaimed.

Crap. You had been caught. Azusa sneaks another glance at you, your eyes meeting his for a brief second. 

“Sorry,” you say. You had spaced out, not realizing you were staring for so long at him.

Azusa shook his head, a small smile forming on his lips. “It’s … fine. I don’t … mind you … looking at me…”

That most certainly didn’t help.

You clear your throat and sit down. “That’s the book you gave me, yeah?”

“Mhm.” He closed it a little, keeping his finger in between the pages. “I … wanted to … re-read some … so the scenes … were fresh in my mind … for when we discuss them.” You nod, and Azusa seems to take that as permission to continue. “It’s a good book … once it picks up … you’ll have a hard time … putting it … down.”

You glance around the club room. In contrast to the day before, nothing was really going on. However strange that may be, you decide to take advantage of it. You grab a hold of the book given to you by Azusa and open it up.

“Might as well start reading it now, right?”

The title was peculiar. _The Infernal Admirers_ , embossed in silver letters on the book’s cover. You run your fingers over the lettering, then finally open it up to the first page. You try to read a bit of it, but before you get through the second paragraph, a yawn escapes you.

Man, staying up so late just to finish a poem seemed really dumb right about now. Your eyes are so heavy, you just wanna close them.

Kou sits in the seat beside you, watching as you yawned a second time. “I’m sorry. We must be a pretty boring club.”

“‘S not that,” you murmured. “I just didn’t sleep well. Homework and the poem and …” You rubbed your eyes in an attempt to rid yourself of your exhaustion. “I dunno. But you all aren’t boring, so don’t worry about that.”

“Hehe, thanks.” Kou bent down so as to not catch the attention of the other club members. “But you and I both know you’re like this cause you stayed up to watch anime.”

“What! Nu-uh. Shut up, man.” All the same, you couldn’t help but laugh. He knew you so well.

“I’m just sayin’! Because you’re in a club now, you won’t be able to watch as much anime as before.”

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. “Don’t say that so loud.” You peeked at Ruki, in case he’d over heard, but he was busy with a book of his own.

“It’s true.” Kou knocked elbows with you playfully.

You elbowed him back. In that moment, it didn’t feel like you'd been estranged up until yesterday. It was as if your friendship had never died. So, you conceded to him. “I know. You’ve always looked out for me, Kou.”

“Ehehe. It’s what I’m best at.” He pushed his hand haphazardly through his hair, staring at you with those baby blue eyes of his. It made you feel all fluttery.

“Well, that’s a problem.” Thinking back, you remembered what he said yesterday when you walked home from school together. “What about you, Kou? Who looks after you?”

He seemed taken aback for a moment and didn’t answer, so you went on.

“You look out for me better than you look out for yourself.” You remember the days when the two of you would hang out regularly. Even if he’d been a bit of a pain, he’d always stuck up for you. Got in a few fights, if you remembered right, for you. “Are you still oversleeping?”

Kou laughed, but he sounded almost nervous. “You know me. I’ve got rehearsals and photoshoots. Don’t forget school. It’s tiring. I’ve got to get in those eight hours somehow, something’s gotta give.”

“It’s not healthy,” you point out sympathetically. “How many days this week have you gotten up on time?”

The smile he wore dims a little. “It doesn’t matter, kitty-cat. Besides, what use is school for an Idol?”

You didn’t argue with him on that. In a way, he was right. Being as famous as he was, by the time he retired, he’d have a large enough sum of money to live cushy for the rest of his life. But, it didn’t change what you saw.

He wore concealer to hide his eyebags. You could see it being this close to his face. His uniform was rumpled, his hair a bit too unruly to be considered devil-may-care. Kou was struggling with something, but he was an Idol and he wouldn’t let himself slip up here at school.

Unable to take it anymore, you sit upright and motion for him to do the same. “Here. Your hair’s a mess, let me help you.”

Kou opened his mouth, but didn’t protest as you started to card your fingers through his hair. It was undeniably soft—the fan girls would love to know that—but it was coarse as well from the thickness of his hair. He melts under your touch, allowing his eyes to flutter shut and enjoy the moment.

“Man, your hair's _so_ tangled.” You gnaw on your lower lip, working through a couple of the knots as best you could. “I wonder if I have my brush in my bag.”

“Mine’s in my locker.”

“Of course you’d have one.” But, neither of you get up, agreeing wordlessly that using your fingers was preferable. “This is the real reason you don’t have a girlfriend. She doesn’t wanna get _eaten_ by your mangy hair when she plays with it.”

“Hey!” Kou pouts. His shoulders shook from holding in his laughter. “Why do I need a girlfriend when I have you?”

“Cause girlfriend’s will give you things I won’t.” Finished with his hair, you moved on to his tie and began to straighten it.

Something flashed in his eyes, and he bit his bottom lip, mirroring you. “Are you sure, kitty-cat?”

You released his tie and gave him a little shove. “Don’t be gross.”

“Ehehe—sorry.” Kou drummed his fingers against the tabletop, looking at you with that same soft look he’d had before. “I guess I was just thinking how strange it was to have a friend … who does this sort of stuff for me.”

Oh, God, was it weird? You crossed your arms and looked away. Maybe that had been too bold. After all, you didn’t really know each other anymore. “Well, geeze, don’t say that cause now you’re making me feel weird.”

“I didn’t mean it like …” He sat back in his seat and rubbed his neck. “It’s just … it’s nice.”

“Oh.”

Kou’s hand traveled towards his tie and slipped his finger through the knot, loosening it. You couldn’t help but feel frustrated. You _just_ fixed that. Kou noticed and laughed. “You know, if I did have a girlfriend, I don’t think she’d like you doing what you just did.”

Weird train of thought but you decided to go with it. “Probably not.”

“So, I guess I’ll have to keep my hair tangled and tie undone. I’ll never get a girlfriend then, and you’ll always be there to fix me.”

There it was again. That flutter. Was Kou deliberately flirting with you, and were you … _liking it_?! No. It had to be your lunch, indigestion and all that.

“I mean …” Kou gave you a look and you turned away, finding the grain on your desk extremely interesting. “I guess. That’ll definitely keep girls away.”

 _Like I'm not a girl?_ you thought.

“Aww, don’t get all embarrassed. I was only joking.”

You give him a sideways glare. “You’re really impossible sometimes, you know that?”

“Okay, everyone!” Ruki’s voice rings loud and clear throughout the classroom, breaking the tension between you and Kou. “It’s time to share what we wrote last night. We might not have enough time if we wait too long.”

“Yes! Poem time.” Kou’s whole face seemed to brighten at once. “I’m really excited to hear yours. You’ll let me read it, right?”

Before you can speak about it any more, Ruki wedged himself between the two of you. “Did you write anything last night, (y/n).”

“O-Oh, I did,” you admit. “Although … I’m not sure if it’s any good. But, this is all about the experience, right?”

“That’s right. I look forward to hearing it.” Ruki slid past you, his body brushing up against your own.

You look around as everyone pulls out their poems. Kou’s is on a wrinkled piece of loose leaf paper … or maybe it's a music sheet. It’s hard to see from where you stand. Ruki, on the other hand, has a composition notebook that he pulls out. You can see his pristine handwriting from where you stand. Both Azusa and Yuma seem a little reluctant, but they pull out similar binders that must hold their writing compilations inside. 

You hold on tight to the folder you brought with the measly scrap of paper inside. At least each of them has some experience with writing, even Kou. You, on the other hand… 

Mentally, you groan. How could you allow yourself to be so stupid?

But it was time to share, there was no getting out of it. A couple of the boys were already exchanging their poems, and you were left with a choice: which one did you want to read your sad excuse of a poem first?


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-Oh! You're caught in an argument between Yuma and Azusa!

You swallowed your self doubt down and turned towards Ruki. He seemed to be the one most interested in what you had to write. Though he was probably going to be your worst critic. Either way, you wanted to rip the bandaid off and get this over with.

“Hey, Ruki …?”

He turned to you. “Hi, (y/n). Do you want me to read your poem.”

Reluctantly, you handed it over. His slim fingers brushed against your hand as he plucked the folder out of your hold. His eyes scanned the paper rapidly, his lips parted, drinking in the words with avid interest.

Finally, he handed it back over. “You did well, (y/n). Your poem reminds me of something Azusa might write. He enjoys descriptive words and symbolism.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You actually liked it?”

“Of course.” Ruki shrugged. “I wouldn’t lie to you.” But, there was obviously something else he wasn’t telling you from the lilt in his voice. Ruki ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Now, would you like to read mine?”

“Yes, of course!”

He passed over the composition book, and you began to read. It was entitled _Eve_. 

If you took it at face value, it was a poem about Eve in the Garden of Eden; though, the point of view was strange. At first, you assumed Adam was speaking, from the way the story was told, the words somewhat romantic and longing; but, there was also a sinister undertone, talking about betrayal and temptation.

You would be lying if you said you understood any of it. Poems—at least, the ones you had been taught about—often had double meanings. Sometimes what was on the surface wasn’t the message the author was trying to get across. But, you couldn’t decipher this one—you couldn’t figure out its meaning.

Ruki was on a whole other level. You couldn’t begin to comprehend his talent.

“Well…?”

He almost sounded … nervous.

You glanced between him and the poem. “I like it a lot. I’m just not sure I understand your message. Would you mind explaining it to me?”

You hoped he wouldn’t be mad. You didn’t normally read such advanced poems, and authors could often be temperamental about their work.

Ruki took his book back and chuckled, nodding his head. “It’s … Well, I’m not sure I have the words. You could say I had a religious experience recently.” He shrugged, giving no more information than that.

Whatever it was, you thought, it must have been extremely personal for him. It wasn’t your right to pry. “Even if I don’t know the whole story, it was still amazing.”

***

Yuma held your poem in a death grip. You were almost certain that he was going to rip it. He frowned hard until finally he thrust your poem back in your hands.

You waited for the rejection—the honest-to-God shredding of your confidence.

Yuma stared at you for a long moment, pursing his lips, then spoke. “How can you read that junk, honestly.”

“Excuse me?” you said.

He sighed, “It’s just a bunch of loaded language. You use too much of ‘em. You could accomplish the same exact thing by using simpler words.” Yuma taps the paper with his hand for emphasis before handing it back over.

“Well…” It wasn’t like he was being rude, per se. You chewed on your lip, unsure of exactly what to say to him. 

Yuma huffed, stuffing his hands in his pant pockets. “Look, it ain’t bad. It just needs work.”

“You called it junk.”

“I know what I said, damnit!” He puffed out his cheeks, exhaling hard. “Anyway, I guess I gotta show ya mine…”

Yuma reached behind him and pulled out the binder that he had brought with him. It was surprisingly large, with plastic dividers placed in between thick sheets of paper. Yuma flipped through it a bit before passing the binder over to you.

“Just don’t read it out loud,” he demanded. 

You let your eyes graze over the title. _Eagles Can Fly_.

The poem was relatively straightforward and used simple language like Yuma had suggested to you. At first, it seemed like a silly poem about animals meant for children, but the last few lines took a turn. Though they were simple in nature, they did invoke thought and emotion. 

It was actually … “This is really good, Yuma.”

He made a strange, strangled noise. “You’re not mocking me, are you?”

“No. I mean it. I like this poem a lot. Your use of simple language is thought provoking.” You pass it back over to him and smile.

“Yeah, exactly!” It was the first time you had seen him like this. Not angry, but passionate. “Everyone in high school seems to think that writing needs to be sophistocated, but you can accomplish the same fuckin’ job as a Shakespeare with my style of writing.” He chuckled to himself. “They’re just a bunch of pretentious assholes. Don’t let ‘em get to you, or make you think your writing is less … or whatever.”

***

Kou sat cross legged atop the teacher’s desk. As you approached him, his eyes lit up. “You want me to read your poem?”

Before you could say ‘yes’, he had snatched it out of your hands. 

Honestly, you were surprised at Kou's eagerness. He wasn’t really a big reader due learning difficulties as a child. That carried over to the majority of primary school. Now that you thought about it, it was weird that Kou was even a part of a literature club...

But you think that music helped him a lot. The singing and rhythm of words. That was how he had learned a lot of things, from what you can remember. Even now, as you watched him read your poem, you could see him bounce a little as he went along to a silent beat. 

Either that, or he was restless.

“This is really good. You sure you haven’t done this before?” Kou asked.

You shake your head. “It isn’t that good.” You glanced around the room and lowered your voice. “To tell you the truth, I used a word generator for most of it and _BS_ -ed the rest.”

Kou snorted. He cupped his hand over his mouth to keep the laughter from carrying, but it was useless. Everyone looked up, shooting you strange looks. It only made you laugh harder. 

When you calmed down, you asked, “Can I read yours now?” 

Kou pulled out the paper. He seemed apprehensive about handing it over, but did so anyway. “Just don’t judge it too hard.”

It was entitled _Dear Sunshine_ , something that seemed a little too cutesie for Kou, but knowing the types of songs he sang, you let it go. 

The poem was alright. You read over it carefully, following along the story about sunshine waking Kou up and then—

“‘I want breakfast’?” you read aloud. His eyes grew the size of saucers. “Kou … did you write this on the way to school this morning.”

“Hehe … maybe.” He ran his fingers through his hair, and for the first time, you noticed the bags under his eyes. “I was busy last night after the club with practice. I forgot. As soon as I came home, I crashed. I would have liked to have caught up with you again to walk to school with you, but I woke up late.”

You frowned and handed his poem back. “You know, you shouldn’t work yourself so hard.”

His smile faltered and something darker overtook him. But, it was a quick, blink-or-you’ll-miss-it type of moment that left you questioning if it was real. “What are you talking about? I’m fine.”

***

As Azusa read your poem, his normally dull eyes lit up. You watch as his lips move with the lines, silently reading your work to himself.

“...Exceptional…” He murmurs, so silent you figure he probably didn’t mean for you to hear.

“Did you really like it?”

Azusa seemed startled by your comment. He covered his mouth with his blazer sleeve, lowering his gaze. “I … do.”

You smile. “Thanks.” High praises from someone who supposedly has been writing for a long time. 

“So … how long … have you been … writing?” Azusa asked.

“Huh?”

“Your use of … symbolism and … imagery … they’re used quite extraordinarily. That kind of … writing is … usually only seen … from someone … with extensive … writing history …” He trails off, running his fingers over the edges of the page. 

“Wow, that’s a big compliment.” You mentally decide to not tell Azusa about the word generator. “It’s actually my first time writing a poem. I—uh—I’m not really the type to do it on a whim.”

Azusa blanched. “Huh?” He brought your poem up to his face and scanned through it once again. He traces his finger along the lines of the page as if breaking it down more thoroughly.

“Yeah…” He finally said, “Okay. This is … obviously written … by an amateur … but it’s a … good first attempt.” He seemed to be retracting his earlier praise, sheepishly shifting from one foot to the other.

You hum, but aren’t offended by the sudden one-eighty. “Can I read your poem now?”

Azusa handed your back quickly and pulled out his own. “Yes … please! I look forward to … explaining my thoughts … process to you.”

He beamed at you, like sharing and discussing poems was a foreign concept—which seemed a little strange. This was a literature club, wasn’t it?

You took Azusa’s poem carefully and began to read it. It was entitled Ghost under the Light. It was short, but very descriptive, using symbolism and imagery to invoke feeling — just like Ruki said he did.

Though it was short, it took you a while to read over it. You could feel Azusa’s anxiety grow with the passing seconds. Finally, you lowered the poem and smiled.

Before you could get out a sentence, Azusa spoke up. “I’m sorry … about my terrible … handwriting.”

“It’s not bad.” But it was. His handwriting was very poor, something you hadn’t expected from a boy who wrote such eloquent things.

Azusa shook his head, “Don’t lie. I know … that’s why it took … you a long time … to read it.”

“No, I was just trying to read it over entirely,” you assured him. “I think your poem is amazing. I love the atmosphere you created with it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

***

You sighed in relief, plopping down in your unofficial spot. That’s everyone, and you couldn’t help but be glad it was over. Sharing poems was a lot more anxiety-inducing than you had imagined. They had each given you a peek into their minds, into their lives, and you—

Well, you did your best, didn’t you? That’s what you said you’d do, and that’s all you could do.

You surveyed the room, silently observing as the boys finished up sharing their poems. Ruki was with Kou towards the back of the room, their voices low and unconcerning. Yuma and Azusa were closest to you, gingerly passing one another their works.

As they read in tandem, you can help but watch the odd pair and how their expressions shift. Yuma’s face—already somewhat uncomfortable—comforts as if reading the poem gives him great physical pain. Azusa smiles sadly, obviously not as invested in Yuma’s poem as he had been in yours.

“The hell is with this language…?” Yuma grumbles under his breath.

Azusa looks up, all traces of the smile gone. “Hm?”

“Nothin’.” Yuma waves him off, but the wrinkle between his brow deepens. “Your stuff’s just … fancy.”

Yuma clearly means it as an insult, the way he spits the word out so violently; but, Azusa is none the wiser. He shrugged nonchalantly, appearing self-satisfied.

“Thank you … Yuma.” He passed the larger boy his poem back. “Yours was … cute …”

Yuma’s eye twitched and you sank lower in your seat. “The fuck did you—‘ _cute_ ’? Did you completely miss the symbolism or somthin’? This poem’s about giving up, there’s nothin’ _cute_ about that.” He snatched his poem away, wrinkling the page in the process.

Azusa grabbed his own work from Yuma before it was also crushed. “I—I knew … that. I … meant the language … I suppose.” He sighed and scuffed his shoe on the floor. “I was … trying to give you … a compliment.”

“Haa?” Yuma puffed out his chest. “You mean to say you have to _try_ to give me a compliment?” He scoffed, snarling. “Load of bullshit.”

“I have … a couple of … suggestions.”

Yuma would not be pacified. “If I wanted suggestions I would ask for them!” He jammed his finger in the middle of Azusa’s chest, forcing him back. “I’d ask the people who actually liked my poem.”

“Like … who?”

“Kou liked it!” Yuma shouted, “And the new girl did, too!” He flung his hand at you, his voice rising in volume. “So how ‘bout I give you some fuckin’ writing suggestions—!”

“Excuse me …” Azusa interrupted, “But … that won’t be necessary. I’ve spent … a long time … developing my writing style … and it won’t be changing … anytime soon … That is, unless … I come across something … particularly inspirational—which yours ... was not.”

Yuma’s lips pinched together.

“And … by the way … the new girl liked … mine, too.” He said this with a satisfied tone of voice, as if he had some sort of one-up on Yuma. You didn’t know why, you told everyone you liked their poems. “She even told me … she was … impressed by it.”

Yuma suddenly stood up from his seat, towering over Azusa. “Oh? I didn’t realize you were so fuckin’ invested in our new member, _Ass_ -zusa, that ya felt you had to impress her.”

It was unclear if he was taken aback by Yuma’s harsh language or what he said. “E-Eh? That … That’s not what I … Er … You’re just … You’re just …” Azusa stands as well, but made little difference. “Maybe … Yuma … You’re just jealous … that she … appreciates my advice … more than yours!”

“HAA?” Yuma clenched his hands into fists. “How do you know that she didn’t appreciate my advice over yours, shithead?! Are you that fuckin’ full of yourself?!”

“… No …” Azusa narrowed his eyes. “If I was … full of myself … I would deliberately … go out of my way … to make everything … overly … cutesy.”

Yuma roared. His fist reared back, and you feared for Azusa in that moment, even if he did sort of bring this on himself. Yuma was so much bigger than him, his punch would almost certainly kill him!

Kou leapt over a desk and pulled Azusa behind him, separating the two boys. “Hey, now! Is everything okay?”

Yuma bent over Kou and grabbed Azusa by the collar. “Ya know what, fuckwad. I’m not the one who started wearin' more bandages because a fuckin’ girl showed up! Do ya not get enough attention at home of somethin'?”

“I … That's not ... true …”

Ruki came to Kou’s aid, attempting to separate the boys. “Yuma, I think that’s enough now.”

But both Azusa and Yuma snapped at him at the same time, “Butt out!”

You’d never heard Azusa yell before. He was always so calm and collected. It startled you.

“I don’t like fighting, guys!” Kou shot you a look, as if to say _please help me_ ; but, what could you do against those two? “C’mon, this is pointless!”

Suddenly, both Yuma and Azusa turned towards you, as if they’d just noticed you standing there. Oh, shit.

“He’s … He’s just trying to make me … look back,” Azusa insisted.

Yuma snorted, “That ain’t true. He started it. If he popped his head outta his ass and learn to appreciate that simple writing is more effective, this wouldn’t’ve _fuckin’_ happened in the first place!” He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. “What’s the point of makin’ poems all complicated for no reason?”

You aren’t sure you’re supposed to answer that.

“The meaning should jump out at the reader, not force ‘em to try an’ figure it out! Fuck, help me explain this to him!” Yuma came closer to you, trying to appeal to you, which was abnormal. Yuma must be really desperate if he’s looking to you for help. 

Azusa didn’t like that at all. He broke free from Kou and came to your side, grabbing a hold of you. “Hang on … There’s a reason … we have … so many deep … and expressive … words in our language! … It’s the only way … to convey … complex … feeling and … meaning … the most effectively! … To avoid such words … is not only … limiting yourself … but wasteful. You understand … don’t you?”

“U-Um…” If you were completely honest, you didn’t give a damn. You cheated your way out of writing! You had no opinions whatsoever on the most effective way to write poetry! “Yuma—” You recieved a nasty glare. “Azusa—” But, his expression is so defenseless that you can’t say anything to him. “ _Kou_!”

“The fuck does he have to do with this?”

Kou looks up, wincing at the fight before him. He was just as lost as you were.

“All this fighting is pointless, like Kou said.” You swallowed hard, taking in the two boy’s confused expressions. “Besides, how can you keep fighting when you know you’re making your friend feel awful.”

The Idol’s lips part, like he couldn’t believe you were taking his feelings into consideration. Yuma broke the moment, gesturing wildly in Kou’s direction.

“I don’t give a fuck. That’s his problem, it has nuthin’ to do with him anyway!”

“I … agree,” said Azusa. “It’s … not fair … for someone to … interject their own … feelings … into our conflict.”

“Yeah! Unless Kou wants to tell _Ass_ -zusa what a dick he is, then he can stuff it!”

“Kou would … never,” Azusa seethes. “It’s your … immaturity … that is upsetting … him.”

“Are ya even listing to yourself, you dick? This is exactly why no one fuckin’ likes you, you creepy-ass—”

Kou, suddenly, snapped. “Just shut up!” The two boys stopped shouting, their eyes wide. Kou’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears “You guys are my friends. Why can’t you get along with each other?! So what if you have differences, that’s what makes you unique. I loved Yuma’s poem because it gives you so many feelings with few words. And Azusa, your poem is amazing because it paints a beautiful picture in your head when you read it. So why are you fighting?!”

“Because … because—!” Yuma was at a loss for words, so he stopped trying. Azusa hung his head.

The fight was over. Kou was the victor. You couldn’t help but feel proud of him. He really did care about his club mates, his friends. He’d proven himself to be a capable vice president, handling the situation like any leader should. This, however, didn’t change the tears in his eyes.

The two warring boys stare at one another for a minute, as if to size the other up and see if they were ready for another round. Neither of them did anything, and so they went their separate directions; Azusa towards the tea set and Yuma to his desk.

Kou excuses himself from the room and you’re left with Ruki. _How long had he been standing behind you_? Well, that didn’t matter.

You faced him and kept your voice quiet. “So that’s why he’s VP.”

Ruki nodded in return. “If I’m honest, I might come off as a good leader, and I have a knack for organizing things; however, I’m not very good with people.” _Ah_ , so he was aware of his standoffish vibe? Interesting. “I could never inject in situations like that. It’s rather embarrassing, as president of a club, if I can say so.”

“No,” you reassure him. “I understand and I can’t blame you. It wasn’t like I said anything useful.”

Ruki hummed. “I guess that mean’s Kou is special.”

_Yeah _, you looked towards the hallway, _he really was_. Still, you couldn't make yourself admit it. “For such an airhead, he’s always been good at taking care of other people. Now, himself…”__

____

____

He laid his hand on your shoulder and patted you. “That seems to be the problem with every great nurturer. Take care of him, will you? I’d hate to see him get hurt.”

“That makes two of us.” You eyed the open door that looked out onto the hallway. If only you knew where he’d gone, you could comfort him. “You can count on me.”

Ruki smiled fondly down at you. _Such a genuine person_ , you reflected, _really does make a good president. Regardless of what he thought of himself_. If only you could find a way to talk to him a little more…


	5. Chapter Five

The Club wrapped up with a few words from Ruki. He asked how you all felt about writing poems, which he received mixed responses. Yuma and Azusa shared a nasty look when Ruki looked away.

Unfortunately for you, Ruki went ahead and decided the club should write poems for the next meeting. Something about building rapport with one another. To be honest, you sort of tuned him out after a certain point.

The prospect of having to write another poem made you fill with dread. Why couldn’t the club do something less painful, like get bikini waxes?

Kou was the first to dip out; but not before he promised he’d wait on you so you could walk home together. Why he couldn’t wait for you in the classroom, you didn’t know. Yuma went next without much of a goodbye, and Azusa followed after him.

As soon as everyone was gone, you turned to Ruki, who’d begun to wipe down the tables. He seemed completely lost in his own world, you wondered if he even knew you were still there.

“Hey. Do you want some help?”

Ruki stopped his cleaning and smiled at you. “Thank you, but no. I don’t want you to waste another precious evening on such a menial task. I’m sure you have much better things to do. I don’t mind cleaning.”

“No, not really.” You laid your bag down on the floor. “I don’t mind. Plus, you probably have better things to do, too. I’m sure your girlfriend would love to spend some time with you.”

“Girlfriend?” Ruki paused his cleaning. “Who told you that.”

Oh no. You’ve overstepped.

“Well, Kou mentioned something about it. I just thought …” You trailed off, but Ruki was looking at you with such intensity you forced yourself to speak. “A guy like you has to have someone.”

“A guy like me …” Ruki echoed you, deep in contemplation. Then he chuckled, shaking his head to dispel his thought. “If you insist on helping then I won’t turn you away.”

You grinned and grabbed a wipe from his container. The two of you made quick work straightening the classroom like you’d done the day before. Ruki didn’t talk much, but sometimes you swore you saw him staring at you. (But, everytime you looked back, he was diligently cleaning. Must’ve been your imagination.)

Part of you was troubled by his quiet. Maybe your earlier comment about a girlfriend had offended him in some way. Ruki was a rather private person, after all. You wanted to apologize, but you thought it was better to just forget the conversation all together.

The room was put back into order, leaving no evidence that the club had even met there. (Except for the tea set on the back counter; but from your understanding, that didn’t leave the room.)

“Thank you, again, (y/n).” Ruki held the door for you, and when you went out, he switched off the light. “If you’re not careful, I might have to keep you.”

You bemused, you asked, “What?”

“For cleaning,” he said.

“Oh,” you laugh awkwardly. “Right.”

On your way down the stairwell, the two of you made small talk about anything and everything. _What classes did you have this semester? What were your ambitions? Did you have any plans for the upcoming break?_

When you arrived outside, Kou was there as promised. It made you feel good inside that he’d actually waited. He sat on a bench, under the school’s awning. Apparently, his fan girls hadn’t found him today. Or, they’d already come and gone.

His face lit up instantly when he saw the two of you. He leapt from his seat and came to your side. “There you are! Honestly, what do the two of you get up to in that classroom?”

“Cleaning,” you said. “Something you should really help with, Mister.”

Kou cried out in dismay, “You know I’m no good at all that. I don’t have a clean bone in my body!”

“No, that’s just laziness.”

“You’re so mean to me!” he lamented.

Suddenly, Ruki commandeered your attention. He touched the tip of your elbow, drawing you out of your conversation. As soon as he touched you, he pulled away and waved.

“Have a good evening you two.” Ruki took a couple of steps, then turned around and added, “And (y/n), make sure you message me when you get home.”

_He remembered_.

You hadn’t texted the night before because you thought he only gave you his number out of obligation. Was that not the case? Maybe he did view you as a friend …

Unable to find the right words, you nodded. It was too late, though. Ruki had already turned back around, getting smaller and smaller as he walked into the distance.

You’d been so wrapped up in your head, you forgot that Kou was there, watching the whole thing. It wasn’t until his chin was on your shoulder you remembered.

“I think someone’s got a crush,” Kou sang.

“Wh-What?! No.” You crossed your arms over your chest in defiance. “Shut up, Kou, don’t be gross. He’s my president.”

His grin widened. “I wasn’t talking about you.”

“You don’t mean … Ruki? Like me? No.” Ruki was much too popular to like some second year student like you. “No, no, no.”

What even made him think that?! Sure, you enjoyed Ruki’s company, and he tolerated you, but… Oh shit, what if people thought you were an item because of the cleaning thing? That was a significant amount of time spent alone together, and even Kou had been suspicious.

But Kou liked to tease you, so maybe you were overthinking it.

“Mmm, okay. Whatever you say, kitty-cat.” Kou wrapped his arm over your shoulders and steered the two of you towards home. “I guess that’s a good thing. I get to keep you all to myself, this way.”

You scoff, though you can’t deny how flustered you became. What’s wrong with you? This is Kou, he shouldn’t be making you blush. You decided it best to change the topic before he makes the feeling worse.

“So, does this sort of thing happen in every club meeting?” And then you added, for clarification, “You know, between Azusa and Yuma.”

“No, no—! Honestly, that’s the first time I’ve seen them fight like that…” Kou frowned as he recalled the memory. “They’re both great guys, I promise. You don’t … You don’t hate them, do you?”

“No!” Well, you couldn’t say that you liked Yuma; but you didn’t hate him. He was just a bit much. And Azusa, he didn’t seem like he’d hurt a fly. He’d been nothing but nice since you first joined. “I just wanted your opinion, that’s all. It did seem weird.”

“Yeah….”

You looked at him from the side of your eyes. “I can see why they’d befriend you. You’re really good at delegating.”

The tension between Kou’s eyebrows smoothed away. “Thanks. I’d hate it if … all that ruined the club for you.”

The sun was starting to dip beyond the horizon, painting the sky pink-and-orange. Kou tightened his arm around your shoulder, like he was hugging you.

“You know, it’s nice that I get to spend time with you in the club. I missed you. Seeing you makes me happy.” He looked down at you, his baby blue eyes softening. “But, I think seeing you get along with everyone is what makes me happiest.”

You stopped walking, fighting back a grin. “Really?”

“Really.” Kou toyed with a strand of your hair. Suddenly, you were hyper-aware of the height difference between the two of you; aware of the contours of his body and how they fit against yours. “And I think they really like you, too, even if they’re not good at showing it.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.” His laugh was musical. “Everyday’s going to be so much fun with you.”

He was close to you, just like he’d been in the classroom. His hair tickled your cheeks, his nose inches away from your own. You couldn’t help but notice how much he’d changed. Not in a bad way, but he wasn’t that squishy faced kid you’d known. He had cheekbones and pretty pink lips. 

He’d grown up well. You could understand why the fangirls always raved about his eyes. They were so expressive. So blue.

If you just leaned in a little more…

You turned away quickly. “We’ll see about that.”

“Yeah.” Kou’s voice sounded strange. Wistful, maybe? You snuck a glance at him, but he was facing forward again. No, you decided, you were imagining things.

***

When you were in the safety of your own room, you screamed into a pillow. Then, you splashed cool water on your face, physically washing away all those icky thoughts about Kou. The evening went much better after that. You didn’t allow yourself to think about him, or the club, until you finished all your homework.

Ruki’s number was still tacked to your corkboard, but you’d already put it in your phone. You messaged him as soon as you were home, like he asked, and he messaged back pretty quickly. You had a brief conversation before it died off. You messaged Azusa as well, but he was a little slow to respond.

And now, you were tasked with writing a poem. You groaned just thinking about it. Why did writing a stupid poem feel like you were pulling teeth? You suppose if you end up in hell, poem writing would be your eternal punishment.

You tugged at your hair, and eventually decide that you’d use the word generator again. They enjoyed your BS once, who’s to say they won’t enjoy it again?


End file.
